MP3, LYRICS, CREDITS, & LINKS:
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Get this song on our 27-song CD (with poster):

or on iTunes:

or on Amazon:

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Directed, shot, edited, and guested by Julian Smith:
Special Guest: iJustine
Song written and produced by: Rhett&Link
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LYRICS:
we live in a world full of dirty things
dirty doorknobs and atm machines
dirty cook sneezing on my chicken wings
so much dirty disease; we cant keep our hands clean

public restrooms are a main concern
where the walls are painted with strangers urine
if they scribble on the wall of a bathroom stall
do you honestly think that they wash their hands after touchin their—

all Im makin is a simple suggestion
to have an exit plan next time you enter a restroom
Im not concerned with your particular reason
be it O.C.D. or just the upcoming cold and flu season (listen here)

Do your business
zip up and then dispense this
little bit a paper towel–but wait
turn on the tap, apply some soap
lather up, rinse, dont stop the flow
first grab that paper towel you saved
use it as a barrier
when touching the faucet area
and when getting more paper towels for your hands
dry with it; then retain it
for the doorknob may be tainted.
as you exit, bank it off the wall into the trash can!
it’s the perfect bathroom trip, man!
its the perfect bathroom plan! (it’s perfect)
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Distributed by Tubemogul.